The Latest Still Space Podcast #145 Why Power is Good - People confuse power with something nefarious. We all need power over our lives to be the driver of our own destiny. Where it gets sticky is when people impose power over others to pacify their own fear of inadequacy as if intimidation and distress are the only ways to motivate. It's dominance over relevance. In this episode of The Still Space Podcast we discuss how the trap of power alienates and pushes people away as well as how to deal with difficult people who value power for the wrong reasons. For more fun, self-care, career, executive presence and self-regulation resources on how to have fun, be connected, and be effective go to www.MaryLeeGannon.com
They need to be right more than they want to get it right.
The sad thing is, most people who do this don't even know that what they're doing drives people away and further feeds the fictional story they tell themselves that "People will always let me down so I have to show then I'm more powerful."
All this is a dance away from the fear of abandonment for being insufficient. It's insecurity at its worst. It grows out of low self-worth, low self-awareness, and low self-regulation
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There is very little self-acceptance present in this scenario. These people rarely seek coaching, counseling, advice, or guidance for this. Instead, they seek allies - other weak people who also blame and complain a lot because the thought of looking inside themselves scares them too much. The thought of having to own their own discomfort, division, and fear is too compromising. It again underscores their fear of ineffectiveness and subsequent impending rejection.
They live externally instead of gaining their real power from internal self-control over their fictional assumptive thoughts that lead to difficult emotions.
What is important to understand if you have someone like this in your life is that these people proliferate chaos. They thrive in it. The more chaos they create, the more division is present and the more "power" they have. Because even smart, well-educated and conscious people with good intentions will not have the fury to battle the rage of the unhealed soul.
So, don't battle. Be smart. When you encounter this wounded child, observe. Say little. Don’t let your own ego engage in a need to be right. They don’t care about good reason. They only care about looking good and having influence. If you find yourself having to position something in front of them, do so in a way that will make them look good. Take note of how all their allies do this well. Then get what you want and get out. Stay off their radar screen. They will never like or trust you. You just want to be out of the crosshairs.
Power is the internal immutability of your worth. Control is the externalized cardboard cutout of power. It's like how lust and love look similar but are not the same. Shame and chaos are cutouts of power. Grace is power.
