Episode #19 - More Still Space Strategies for Executive Presence in Anxious Moments by Mary Lee Gannon
Learn more at www.MaryLeeGannon.com
The World Is Not About Me
Instead of focusing on what you want that you don’t have, reverse the perspective. When we are stuck in a web of anxiety over self-pity (feeling rejected and that we’re not good enough) it is freeing to:
a. Take the focus off yourself. Think of someone who needs your support, prayers, meditative thoughts.
b. Call them.
c. Write to them.
d. Pray for them.
e. Do something for them without expecting anything in return.
f. Be grateful to be able to help.
g. Be grateful for who does love and accept you. Name these people and pray, meditate, call or write to them.
h. Send positive energy in their direction.
i. Remind yourself, “The world is not about me.”
This puts the focus off yourself and onto others. This shifts you from victim to powerful creator. This removes you from a state of comparison.
See – Face – Replace
You SEE, FACE and REPLACE the fear. Acknowledge the triggers and the feeling. Pull the fear out by the roots and examine it. If you need to shut down so that you don’t overreact simply tell yourself, “It is ok to shut down for a moment until I regain my good reason.” Then replace the fear perspective with a mindful practice. You might rename butterflies as excitement or reframe fear as a sign of your physical readiness.
Tune Into Stillness
1. Locate one object in the room that is perfectly still. Identify with it. Notice its texture, color, how it remains stationary and still among the chaos.
2. Adopt its posture, its regal nature, its presence.
3. With each in breath envision a connection between you both growing stronger.
5-5-5 Calm
1. Slow down your breathing by inhaling all the way to your belly to a count of 5.
2. Hold your breath for a count of 5.
3. Exhale for a count of 5.
4. Hold the exhale while you slowly say to yourself ‘Calm -2-3-4-5.’
5. Repeat.
Turn it Down and Walk Past
When past drama or limiting beliefs show up in your thoughts and create uncomfortable feelings:
1. Imagine your hand reaching out and turning down the volume of it like you would turn down the volume control of a stereo or phone. You intentionally choose not to let that play loudly. You control the volume.
2. Or imagine the intruding thought like a nagging, barking dog. You notice it and choose to walk past it, noticing it getting farther and farther away and the sound diminishing as you walk on. You might even wave as you walk by. No emotion.
Body Scan
Take a deep breath and scan your body, paying particular attention to where you hold tension as you release any tension you notice. Systematically begin at the top of your head and move downward. Isolate each part of your body, noticing it on the in breath and relaxing stiffness on the outbreath as you go – head, eyes, mouth, jaw, ears, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, torso, stomach, digestive system, cardiovascular system, neurological system, hips, legs, feet.
Breathing in I notice my eyes. Breathing out I release an tension in my eyes. Breathing in I notice my jaw. Breathing out I smile on my jaw.
With practice you will be able to execute these strategies with ease.
That’s Interesting
When a fearful thought inserts itself into your mind, matter-of-factly say to yourself, That’s interesting…What is this trying to teach me? This shifts the fear paralysis to one of inquiry. You focus in the moment on being curious instead of fast forwarding your thoughts to a doom and gloom ending of tragedy that might occur. This keeps you in the moment and leaves no room for assumptions.
Release – Deserve – Accept
Take a deep breath. This exercise is quick and effective for The Still Space. And answer these questions.
1. I release my need to ___________________________________________.
2. I deserve ____________________________________________________.
3. I am ready to accept _____________________________________ in my life.
Post this three-part statement where you can see it every day.
Gratitude
1. Name one thing you are grateful for in this moment.
2. Smile.
Play
1. Play with the idea of what life would be like if that assumption, feeling and fear were not a part of your life. Be playful. Play with that for five minutes. Write down or draw what you envision and what it feels like to be there. Post that vision where you can see it every day.
The Four Fs of Finding Common Ground
This is very helpful when you’re in a contentious conversation or negotiation.
I understand how you might Feel that way.
I Felt the same way…
Until I Found out the Facts.
Different situations call for different strategies. In a difficult conversation you don’t have time for a body scan. If you get in the habit of first identifying the Still Space – just a wink of your eye can do it, you’ll find in that moment you have to power to gather your poise. In that split second, you might be able to hear an opportunity that you might have missed in a fear state.
Now Is All
Tell yourself, “Now is all that matters. I’ll stay in the moment.” to avoid overthinking or fast forwarding to pain and suffering.
Just Shut Down
If you feel completely overwhelmed and as if you are going to overreact or lash out you might tell yourself, “It ok to just shut down right now until I can regain my good reason.”
When You Can’t Sleep: 4-7-8
1. Breathe in for a count of 4
2. Hold it for a count of 7
3. Slowly breathe out for a count of 8
4. Repeat
All of Me
Get out of your thoughts and into your body. Where is this fear showing up in your body? Describe the taste, smell, sound, feel and what you see. How does this show up in your mind, subconscious, spirit? This shifts the focus away from a perceived threat.
In the Moment Fear Strategies
Say to yourself: I recognize you. I can feel you making my heart race and my stomach flip and making me fear I’ll miss out or won’t be able to handle things and be judged for not being good enough. Settle down. We’ve got time. Breathe. I’ve got this covered. We’re all right.
Rub an artifact – penny, paperclip, pen. Transfer your anxiety to the object. Imagine all discomfort running down your arm and into the object.
Acknowledge what is out of your hands, surrender to fate, God, the universe. “This is out of my hands.”
Drop your shoulders. Put your head up. Open your back and chest with a big inhale. Put all corners of your feet on the ground. Unclench your jaw. Release your tongue from pressing on the roof of your mouth. Release the muscles in your thighs and back and shoulders and neck. (Put your energy where you want it instead of allowing yourself to be caught up in a wave of negativity and doubt.) Strike a power pose for confidence.
