It's a Superpower
I have one distinct trait that stands out among everything I do.
I see people. I see their genius very clearly. And I can get to the root of what is in the way.
I've had this quality my entire life. It used to get me in trouble because I always asked a lot of questions. It's no surprise that after a long day in my CEO role I ended up coaching in the late afternoons and early evenings.
Sometimes people don't want to go into the dark corners of their lives. I'm fascinated by the dark corners because I know by experience how empty they are and that I can shed light there.
I see when someone has lost their magic. This is the saddest for me and is when I am especially attentive to someone’s pain.
I see when people are in their own way.
I see when ‘business’ has taken the place of acceptance.
I see a life change when someone shifts from resentment, aloneness, blaming and complaining to confidence, connection...
Can We Please Normalize PTO? (and Announcement!)
Can we all please normalize appreciating PTO. Arnie and I decided a long time ago that we have to be the ones to prioritize our wellbeing. We didn’t wait for retirement to get the beach house. We don’t wait for retirement to travel. We don’t wait for retirement to regularly visit our children out of town. We don’t wait for retirement to take up hobbies, new sports, creative endeavors, meet new friends. We don’t have a bucket list. We live it every day.
I've spent most of my career as an execuitive at hospitals all to often seeing people retire, think they're going to do everything they've been waiting their whole lives to do, and an illness stops them in their tracks. Don't wait. Scale your dreams to what is reasonable and live them now.
Arnie and I are both high achievers and realize that sometimes doing our best means reflecting on what’s in the way of that happening.
The American culture has convinced many people that the work...
Can We Please Normalize PTO?
Can we all please normalize appreciating PTO. Arnie and I decided a long time ago that we have to be the ones to prioritize our wellbeing. We didn’t wait for retirement to get the beach house. We don’t wait for retirement to travel. We don’t wait for retirement to regularly visit our children out of town. We don’t wait for retirement to take up hobbies, new sports, creative endeavors, meet new friends. We don’t have a bucket list. We live it every day.
I've spent most of my career as an execuitive at hospitals all to often seeing people retire, think they're going to do everything they've been waiting their whole lives to do, and an illness stops them in their tracks. Don't wait. Scale your dreams to what is reasonable and live them now.
Arnie and I are both high achievers and realize that sometimes doing our best means reflecting on what’s in the way of that happening.
The American culture has convinced many people that the work...
Five Things I Learned on My Family Vacation
Recently, my family was together for a summer vacation and get-together in my hometown. Some of my family live here. My oldest daughter and her husband and two children came to visit. Additionally, four of our other children who live here got together in some form with the group nearly every day over a 10-day timeframe. There was much laughter, deep conversations, some drama and a lot of love.
I was a little sad when everyone left to go home to their daily lives. I was a little surprised by some things that occurred last week and questioned why some things are the way they are. Mostly, I felt full - full of being loved and giving love. I will share how I got to this pace despite drama and how I stay there. Even if I wander off the path, I know how to get back on it to get home.
A long time ago I read the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and the advice always serves me well.
#1) Be impeccable with your word.
#2) Don't take anything personally.
#3)...
One Question
I have one question for you.
Are you where you want to be in your career and personal life?
If the answer is, "yes," go to the next thing that interests you.
If the answer is "not really" or "I don't even think about what I want anymore," then you might want to think try to understand what you might be missing in your leadership and your career search - what other people see that you do not.
It is kind of scary looking at yourself from a different perspective. That's ok. You've already done a lot of firsts in your life. So have I.
First time married First time divorced First time as a single mom of four children First time on welfare, food stamps, medical assistance, homeless and without an automobile First time committing to not be a victim, owning my life and being the role model my children need First CEO role I wasn’t qualified for on paper First time raising $10.4 million on the heels of the largest hospital bankruptcy in US history First time...
The Two Prevalent Issues in the Workplace Right Now
I see two prevalent issues in executive leaders right now.
1 Leaders aren’t happy with how they’re valued or the work they’re doing so they pitch a pilot project to their boss who agrees to it, or they spend a lot of time working on areas that interest them but aren’t tied to their primary area of responsibility. (Most leaders welcome their direct reports working on areas of interest as long as this does not neglect thier primary responsibility.)
Then during the performance review, they hear they aren’t measuring up.
Or they get laid off or terminated.
They get angry because they got approval for what they were working on. Or they’re angry because they worked hard, and it wasn’t recognized.
2 Leaders who have repeatedly missed hitting their goals and whose organization has not responded negatively take that as standard operating procedure.
Then during...
You Must Choose One of the Two
Some people get up every morning and love their workout. I’ve been working out five mornings a week for years and I’ve hated it every single day.
Hate is a strong word. But I’m pretty sure that sums it up. And the truth is I never expect that to change. So it’s ok. I just do it because I feel, look, and move better with this discipline. I would regret not feeling this freedom otherwise.
I’m not a structured person by nature. I never read directions, like standing in line, or understand hierarchy.
But I do understand the value of discipline even though it doesn’t come naturally to me.
Why?
Because I’m motivated by avoiding the pain of regret. I don’t live in regret. It’s defeating.
It’s why I track mindful daily practices every day (yoga, meditation, slowly drinking a glass of water) to keep me in the present moment so I can be self-aware enough to control my runaway thoughts and...
This Misconception Costs Careers, Relationships and Satisfaction
This image illustrates the fallacy that hard work leads to recognition and advancement. That accessories will make you feel important. That salary equals fulfillment.
These are merely coverings we lay over our desire to be valued when we don’t believe in ourselves.
At a certain level everyone is working hard, earns a reasonable wage and has a nice pen or handbag.
Hard work can turn into the treadmill to nowhere if it is your only career strategy or your escape from things that are not working.
Negotiating for salary without a tool belt of signature strengths, how you’ve applied them, your measurable key accomplishments, your value proposition in a new role and a timeline for delivery is far less effective.
And the stuff you buy is a great way to treat yourself as long as it isn’t how you make yourself feel good when you doubt yourself.
Everything on the bottom of this image comes from an internal sense of self-worth.
I see this in my clients. Society tells...
It's Ready! And I was wrong.
Hi Friend!
I’ve been coaching leaders of different titles and industries for 12 years. Over time I’ve witnessed common themes show up in almost everyone. Truthfully, I’ve seen them show up in myself as well.
We feel unrest in our careers. And it begins to spread to our personal lives.
We stop taking care of ourselves. We break from healthy routines such as exercise, eating healthy, a good night’s sleep.
We distance ourselves from the people we care about.
We stop seeing ourselves as top talent in our area of expertise.
We start to doubt our efficacy at all. We think there is something wrong with us. And then we see ourselves as small. In all aspects of our lives.
And then we show up small, perpetuating the very insidious doubt trap that hamstrings our happiness.
I know this well from having been a single mom on welfare food stamps, medical assistance, and homeless without an automobile at the end of my divorce. You...
The Great Break Up - Women leaders leave their positions
Women leaders are switching jobs at the highest rates we’ve ever seen—and at higher rates than men in leadership. It's been called "The Great Breakup." The recent Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey and LeanIn.org shows that 10.5 % of women leaders (9% of men) left their positions in 2021 compared to roughly 8.25% of women leaders in 2017 (8% of men). It also showed that only one in four C-suite leaders is a woman, and only one in 20 is a woman of color.
For the eighth consecutive year, a broken rung at the first step up to manager is holding women back. For every 100 men who are promoted from entry-level roles to manager positions, only 87 women are promoted, and only 82 women of color are promoted
Women are more likely to experience belittling microaggressions, such as having their judgment questioned or being mistaken for someone more junior. They’re doing more to support employee well-being and foster inclusion, but it’s spreading...