Yesterday I got a call from my second oldest daughter who had just had an intimidating experience. As I was helping her stay in the moment and not relive the fear or project a repeat occurrence I remembered the wisdom in the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The book offers a code of conduct based on ancient Toltec wisdom that advocates freedom from self-limiting beliefs that may cause suffering and limitation in a person's life.
The Four Agreements are:
Always do your best.
Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
The first two are character based. Good people have less trouble with them. The last two are self-esteem based. Everyone has trouble with them.
Fear can be debilitating. It’s worse when we make assumptions about it. At work it usually shows up around what people say, do, what you assume is behind their behavior and what you assume they mean. You think it’s about you personally but usually it’s far deeper than that.
Who would you be without your assumptions or taking things personally? Chances are another person’s bad behavior is more about their own personal unrest than it is about you.
When I heard a sigh on the other end of the phone I knew my daughter had found relief.
UPDATE: Here is a link to my NEW FREE REPORT: Leading Beyond the Uncertainty of COVID19 - Featuring Remote Teams Leadership click here!
If you are ready to get off the treadmill to nowhere and have peace, confidence, executive presence, career advancement and high performance request a free consultation call to see if coaching is a good fit. If you don’t know where you will be at the end of the year you are already there.
P.S. Feel free to send this link to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life looking for a hand to hold. Sometimes we must be the hand that reaches out.
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Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and 19-year corporate CEO who helps leaders have more effective careers, happier lives and better relationships. Request a free consultation call now.
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