We all think we are self-aware. Of course, you know yourself better than anyone else. Right? Not necessarily.
You rewind and replay those thoughts in your head so many times a day you think nobody else could know them better than you. That may be true. But that does not make you aware of how they show in your behavior. And this blind spot is the biggest deterrent to executive presence, relationship building and confidence.
Two Kinds of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness has two factions. First, there is internal self-awareness – how well you understand yourself. Second, there is external self-awareness – your understanding of how others view you.
You think you are a good manager. You write good concise descriptions, screen for attitude as well as experience, align the bench strength of your team, and clearly communicate strategy in tandem with the business plan. You mentor your employees because you care about them and provide personal development...
When we compare and judge we are allowing our ego to dictate our standards. Nothing will ever be good enough in this state because it is a fear based posture. In this space we are not playing to our strengths, we are playing to someone else’s. We are not authentic, we have sold out to shiny objects and fairy tales. We have lost sight of what makes us unique only to trail two steps behind what our ego reminds us we should have but never get.
When my daughter was diagnosed with a developmental disability I used to sit at playgrounds and compare her to other children, leaving me devastated. When my marriage fell apart I continually asked myself why others were happy and I was so unlucky. When I built my coaching practice I used to study what other coaches did to market themselves, trying something new each week.
Then I defined my life by my own standards. Empowerment was the result. I researched and got my daughter the therapies she needed whereby she went to college on a...
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