If you have ever been in an escalating conversation that is confrontational you know how hard it is to maintain composure when your heart starts racing and every nerve ending in your body is screaming “Danger!” With practice you can be the master of your own behavior in these high stakes moments, pacify yourself and be the respected colleague people notice has grace under fire.
When you’re first aware that a situation is getting combative that is the sign to switch tracks before you’re on the runaway train of freeze-fight-or-flight. This is when your reaction becomes physiological - your voice quivers, your palms get sweaty, and your heartrate elevates. Most people fear that this lack of physical control will show and undermine their effectiveness. It’s important to regain control of your body’s reaction by accepting what is going on with you and creating space for it to calm down. Turning away from the discomfort is not the...
MINDFUL OF SELF AND OTHERS - OUCH!!!! Have you ever gotten off the phone with someone who called to ask you for help and felt like you'd just been worked over? Have you ever found yourself thinking, "There is something about that person I do not like or trust?" Trust your gut. Your head is too analytical and your heart is too emotional.
This happened to me yesterday when a person called me to help them regarding a positon I happen to know a lot about. This person was referred to me by a friend. It was for free advice. I agreed because of my work relationship with the other party. I was annoyed and put an end to what felt like an interview quickly after first turning the 'interview' on this person - to help this person realize the rudeness of the behavior. It didn't work. No self-awareness.
Don't doubt yourself. Believe in your instinct. Instinct has kept us alive as a species for centuries. If a perspective is that visceral it is trying to tell you something. Listen.
Note to Self -...