This is Not Self Care

     I used to think self-care was my bubble bath or reading my self-help books after a crisis moment. While these provided a breath of fresh air they weren’t helping me to deal with raw emotions in the moment.

     Do you see self-care as after-care? Do you wait until the let-down, crisis, doubt sets in and then try to play catch-up to snap you out of feeling inadequate and question why this pattern keeps happening to you?

     You deserve better. And only you can give that to yourself.

     It’s freeing to be able to see the hurt coming, slow down, and be still. Still. Understand that things come and go. Emotions come and go. The important thing is to accept them all. Nod at them. Embrace them all - not turn away in fear. Then you can choose to do with them what you want verses being controlled by them.

     Fear will consume you to the point of convincing you that you...

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Remove This

Dear Friend,

This image is so powerful to me. I’ve been an executive coach for more than 10 years and in everyone I’ve ever managed or coached I see a common theme coined by Mary Kay Ash that everyone wants to feel important. The more people seek validation of their relevance externally the more they are on the treadmill to nowhere. Imagine if you could feel important internally - knew that you were valuable and stopped seeking affirmation from outside sources. You’d show up differently - more at ease, less needy, more confident, less judgmental, more yourself. That’s the shift to freedom.

 People often ask me, “How do you know if you have executive presence?” I tell them, “You have an understanding and acceptance of yourself with all your strengths and opportunities, know you have much to contribute, are curious and have a greater desire to get it right than to be right.”

Here's a short video I recently made if you are...

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Do you feel invisible to Senior Leadership - and in your personal life?

 

You have worked yourself to the point of exhaustion and you’re done with feeling undervalued. Top leaders seem to pass you over time and time again only to promote and give opportunities to those with less experience and results. You’re getting resentful and noticing it affects your relationships, your weight and your sleep. 

You’re starting to believe you waited too long to make a career move. You think you've wasted time not developing transferable skills. You’ve been passed over so many times that you believe you aren’t relevant anymore. You figure you are stuck where you are forever so maybe you should just give up on your dreams. 

My personal mission is to see leaders with great character not have to doubt themselves any more - to help them rise to understand their inner wisdom and how to position it to thrive at work and in life.  

This month I am opening 6 spots to join my new signature program - Corner Office...

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Do you feel invisible to senior leadership - and in your personal life?

You have worked yourself to the point of exhaustion and you’re done with feeling undervalued. Top leaders seem to pass you over time and time again only to promote and give opportunities to those with less experience and results. You’re getting resentful and noticing it affects your relationships, your weight and your sleep. 

You’re starting to believe you waited too long to make a career move. You think you've wasted time not developing transferable skills. You’ve been passed over so many times that you believe you aren’t relevant anymore. You figure you are stuck where you are forever so maybe you should just give up on your dreams. 

My peronal mission is to see leaders with great character not have to doubt themselves any more - to help them rise to understand their inner wisdom and how to position it to thrive at work and in life. 

In February I am opening 6 spots to join my new signature program - Corner Office Freedom -...

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When I do Something in 30 Minutes It's Because of This

Some days I sit in my office and think how easy my job is until I see someone else make a decision or take action that I know is ill advised and will have negative results. Then I remember the countless 12-hour days and weekends I put in to have the breadth of perspective I’ve learned. I remember the negative results I experienced when I didn’t know better. And I think about the really stressful days in my work that try my patience and bring me sleepless nights. 

Your time is valuable. This is why I don’t hire lawyers, accountants or consultants who are not mavens at what they do because they make you pay for their learning curve. 

Be an expert. Work for a company that values your expertise. And if you are feeling age discrimination when your company should be putting your expertise to good use, this link to the strategies I share with my clients might help >>> 10 Tips When You Fear Age Bias 

If you are struggling with uncertainty and...

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When It Makes You Cringe

Have you ever had a visceral reaction to a colleague where just to be around them made you cringe? Generally that discomfort is based in ego - your competitiveness gone haywire. We get triggered into fight-or-flight and our ego hates to lose.  

Prepare before these encounters by anticipating the experience going well - where you shift from being defensive to being CURIOUS about HIS ego and need to be right or superior. Imagine if you could watch her arm wrestling her ego because that is exactly what is happening when people are mean - they are at war with themselves. Happy people do not hurt one another or seek attention.

Be the curious servant leader. “Jean, I sense that I’m not meeting your needs. I want to be helpful. If I were meeting your needs, what exactly would that look like?” She will likely not be able to be specific because she’s so tied up in attention seeking ego. If she is specific you’ll have great intel.

Your coach,

Mary Lee

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