The Problem Behind the Problem

This week I had a call with a client who is exhausted in his VP role from working hard yet not earning the trust of his team which isn’t productive as measured by CEO. This is creating strained relationships with his spouse and children. He’s stopped his exercise routine, is binge snacking, and isn’t sleeping well. He’s drinking more than usual and extremely frustrated. 

Here’s what we’re going to do: 

Look at the whole picture. Not just the frustrated part and tack on an action plan that won’t be sustainable nor is linked to the bigger picture that he can’t even see in all the hurt and disappointment at this point. 

Emotional pain is debilitating. Our culture tends to gloss over emotion with a “just work harder” mantra that doesn’t work. Just ask the military that is now totally committed to mental and physical fitness after witnessing the PTSD fallout of the “just suck it up”...

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Don't Waste Time on Resolutions - Do This Instead

My husband and I were sitting alone on the beach of our home on Hilton Head Island last week on Christmas eve. COVID had altered the travel plans of our six children and their families. We had decided if we were going to be alone for Christmas we'd be in a place we love. We sat there talking about how COVID has changed so much for everyone this year. I deliberately got up from my chair and snapped this photo as my commitment to moving forward with a fresh perspective. Hope is on the horizon. Though hope is not a strategy, it reminds me that it is time to plan.

Would you take a trip without a map? Of course not. So why do we think we can create a New Year’s resolution and get there just because we want to? The reason most resolutions fail is because they are simply notions centered on “getting” something and not grounded in your values - the root of what drives you. They aren’t authentic and aligned with your core.     ...

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Eight Questions to Set a New Start in Motion

New Year’s Eve has come and gone. It’s a funny night. You are left with a twinge of remorse and a twinge of hope. People migrate to parties and streets with champagne in their hands surrounded by 150 of their closest friends to watch a ball drop anywhere from 10 to 141 feet, while they try to forget that they didn’t accomplish last year’s resolutions and set lower bar resolutions for the coming year. Truly the happiest people of the evening are the cabbies who are out in scores to drive all the partiers home where they welcome the next day with a headache, little recall of their pared back resolve which sounds something like “I will not drink caffeine when the Penguins have a full healthy roster” and a pork shank that needs to be roasted.

 

Most resolutions don’t come to fruition because they are merely notions. “I will lose weight” and “I will get a new job” are notions. “I will go to the gym for an...

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