Have you ever tried to reason with a difficult person who absolutely will not listen? Anxiety builds when you think you are making a logical argument, have the facts behind you, the other person is not bending at all yet you keep arguing with them. You start to question yourself, doubting your effectiveness. Your frustration becomes apparent, unraveling of your composure and destroying your executive presence.
If after you have tried to work with someone to examine all sides of an issue and the other party still behaves egregiously, dismiss the conversation like it never happened. You heard me. Walk away.
Don't argue with fools or you will become the fool. Cut the conversation off cold. "I respectfully disagree." and move on – walk away, address another party, get off the phone, leave the room.
This abrupt ending will send a clear message that you see no value in engaging, devaluing their perspective all together without becoming emotional. You will have just disarmed their power and left the situation with your own. The distance you create will give you a Pause Café space to calm down and give them some space to re-evaluate too.
Circle back later from a completely different perspective. When you circle back you might start with, “I know that when we addressed (XYZ) issue before we did not agree. If you were me, knowing that ………….. what would you do?” Put them in your shoes. Then continue to ask them, “How would you do that?” “And how would you do that?” Make them give you specifics that they had avoided in past conversations.
For a free tip sheet on the Pause Café Strategy click here.
If mindful practices, career planning and good goal setting are important to you, check out my video where I walk you through how to get a new job or promotion >>> Three Ways to Move to the Next Level in Your Career Right Now.
You can always read my latest column for The Ladders - the $100,000+ job site >>> click here.
P.S. Feel free to forward this link to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life.
Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and 18-year corporate CEO who helps leaders have more effective careers, happier lives and better relationships. Get her FREE Career and Life Planning Tool to be more effective, the leader everyone wants to work for and have a better connection with the people who matter while it still matters. If you don't know where you will be at the end of 2018, you are already there.
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
You will be sent an email with a link each time Mary Lee Gannon updates the Executive Coach's Blog. It's great to have you with us!