Often, I see clients put off important discussions with their bosses because they aren’t really sure how to structure them and fear they may come off as expecting too much and eventually feel rejected. This is unwise. A little preparation can earn you respect and what you want.
How to prepare for the meeting:
Yes, it’s the week most people are doing the “what am I going to do in the new year?” struggle. We reflect on the past year and wonder, even worry sometimes, about what the plan will be for change in the new year.
Resolutions are pointless because they’re not tied to a linear system to create practices that make them happen. Most people don’t stick to resolutions and end up feeling more defeated when they can’t.
So, they dummy down real goal setting to things like, “I won’t swear.” Or “I’ll lose 5 pounds.” Or “I’ll get that project finished on time.” These are simply notions. All of these are not tied to defined values or a mindset and plan that changes habits. They likely will not occur either. More defeat.
It makes me sad to watch great people undercut their happiness.
This week my clients do something else. They use a tool to guide them through a healthy reflection...
Judgment is never helpful. It makes us artificially feel big when in fact it is a covering for feeling small. Life isn’t binary. There is a lot of grey between black and white. When we can be still enough to be aware of the grey we can honor the emotion that needs to be released so that we may see the clearing that calls us. Everyone is not called to the same path. The world is big. We can allow for lots of paths. We just have to be willing to walk our path alone. That’s self-acceptance. That’s knowing that we’re always evolving and learning. That’s being satisfied. That’s peace.
We aren’t victims of our lives, we are conductors.
We need reminders to help us stay on our path. Mindful routines do this. Each morning I do yoga, drink a slow glass of water, meditate, set three daily goals and set a daily intention. These routines take less than 30 minutes and help me start my day fresh, aware and totally focused on how I choose to...
Everyone is carrying their own version of, “I’m not good enough” which deep down means “I’m not lovable.” Some people have had this message reinforced more than is reasonable.
What if you could turn down the volume on that message to allow for a message to emerge from your core, not your protected self?
What if you could stop identifying with things that happened in the past and allow for who you are without that situation to step forward and direct your thoughts?
What if you could be the one person who shows a difficult person that they matter today?
Thoughts lead to feelings that lead to actions. Honor the feelings so as to release them. In that space you are the creator of new thoughts.
Thoughts are not edicts. They are energy. We choose our thoughts. New thoughts will lead to new feelings. And there’s no limit to the actions you’ll take there. You’re ready.
When you put down the heavy...
Do you ever feel like this?
You're working harder than ever yet not much is changing regarding what you really want and you're beginning to think there is something wrong with you.
You are a human being. Not a human doing. Sometimes we forget that as we work long hours or work hard but notice we aren’t fulfilled or our work isn’t appreciated.
Don’t push away difficult emotions. They resurface as anxiety, busyness, anger, frustration, stress, numbness and disconnectedness.
When we learn how to sit quietly and ask ourselves what’s really going on inside us, that humility creates space for courage. We open this space by getting out of our routines, going to a favorite place or on a walk. The beach always does this for me.
What we’ve turned away from creeps out of the shadows back into the light and though it is difficult to face what we’ve been running from, a sigh of relief follows when we do. Freedom is in sight.
Every office is struggling with hiring and employee retention. I read and study it with fascination. The Industrial Age left employees with few options and they stayed because it was safe. The Information Age inspired a standard of living that employees aspired to and climbing the corporate ladder was what kept people motivated. After the economic crash of 2008 the Social Age emerged where people want quality of life because the economy and jobs are too unforgiving and unstable. We have to adapt because creating cultures that play to past Age dynamics are not working.
Create an environment where employees have an opportunity to learn, grow, expand, explore. Options are abundant for employees. Contracts and incentives to stay don’t work. Don’t expect their loyalty or that they need you because your company is the biggest, or that the safety of their secure job will keep them. They’ll leave for a better opportunity to challenge themselves. You must be their...
Can we all please normalize appreciating PTO. Arnie and I decided a long time ago that we have to be the ones to prioritize our wellbeing. We didn’t wait for retirement to get the beach house. We don’t wait for retirement to travel. We don’t wait for retirement to regularly visit our children out of town. We don’t wait for retirement to take up hobbies, new sports, creative endeavors, meet new friends. We don’t have a bucket list. We live it every day.
I've spent most of my career as an execuitive at hospitals all to often seeing people retire, think they're going to do everything they've been waiting their whole lives to do, and an illness stops them in their tracks. Don't wait. Scale your dreams to what is reasonable and live them now.
Arnie and I are both high achievers and realize that sometimes doing our best means reflecting on what’s in the way of that happening.
The American culture has convinced many people that the work...
How many of you have seen this? You work in a culture where mediocrity is the norm. Where there is no incentive to be more dedicated because the underperformers are allowed to do the minimum. Where much is expected and there is little appreciation or reward.
There is a term for people who want to do the minimum of what is expected and nothing more. "Quite Quitting." I've seen this term debated and justified many times. Some cultures are so toxic that people quiet quit just to maintain their sanity. Other people become so disgruntled with their boss, having been passed over for promotion, an unfair distribution of work, or some other practice that they become tired, burned out and angry. Quiet quitting is intentional and becomes a survival mechanism.
My take on it is this - We don't get chosen for employment. We choose employers. We apply, interview and accept a position. We aren't entitled to work anywhere. We choose to. If we aren't happy there we can choose to have a...
This podcast shows you how to stop self-sabotage and regret. Thoughts can be chaos when they are out of control. Finding your still space gives you power. In your still space you gain control over runaway thoughts before they hijack your efficacy and likability. In this episode wew explore mindful daily practices that help you build your awareness to notice the still space window before it closes and you’ve missed the opportunity and said or done something you regret.
Your boss is driving you crazy. You feel as if they don’t understand what it’s like to actually do the work. They aren’t considering the consequences of their words or decisions. They play the political game too often to be trusted. And their vision is self-serving or flawed.
Collaborative teams where character rich colleagues work in alignment with servant leader bosses are ideal but not often the case. Everyone has an ego and bad bosses usually have the biggest.
Managing the dance with ego is essential at work and in life. There are two egos in a boss/direct report relationship – theirs and yours. You want to anticipate theirs and regulate your own. This requires subduing your need to be right. You don’t need to be right, just get it right.
Negative feedback is a misnomer in todays’ work environment. The purpose of feedback at work is to help a...